If you are doing your best and your marriage still doesn’t work, then you should know that you are not the only one in this case. Even if it’s about reactions, feelings, bad advice or wrong behaviour all of them made something that pushed our partners far from us. But, when you discover you had been mistaken the chances of fixing your marriage increase.
Do not put pressure on your spouse!
Threatening or arguing together with your partner is not a positive thing to complete in a marriage, no matter the situation. Another form of pressure, which is often used, is begging. Even if you’re not getting down on your knees, so long as you are crying or pleading will still be considered a form of begging. Telling your partner that separation will ruin your children’s lives is really a form of blackmail that leads to emotional pressure.
Pressure will take many forms. For example, if you insist to go at marriage counseling you’re definitely putting pressure on your own spouse. Therefore, you should know there are many ways to convince your spouse of something without the need for pressure. How can you do this? Rather than pressure, use logic.
Stop apologizing all the time!
It is essential to apologize for the stuff you did wrong especially when you intend to avoid them in the future. But, the issue appears when you start apologizing for things you didn’t do. Such an apology first of all sounds insincere, and secondly since you mocking of your spouse. Thirdly, you look desperate and not attractive.
Apologizing constantly does neither improve, nor solve anything. The very best solution is to take 50% responsibility of the problem and realize that you’ve got some problems you must cope with in order to save your marriage. Put simply, when you say ” I want to save my marriage” assume responsibility for your fair share of the blame.
Avoid quick conclusions!
For those who have lived with your spouse for several decades, this does not mean that you can read their mind and know them being a book. Thus, don’t assume you understand their feelings, thoughts or reactions. These emotions are buried deep in each person’s mind and might be also influenced by unrelated event before that interfere in the present.
Most people know that dishonesty leads to only trouble, but few people really do consider this as important. Emotional intimacy is highly influenced by details such as work events, facts, hiding feelings, financial details. Eventually hiding may be will lead to a wedge between you and your spouse. Those events that have an influence on the relationship and are hidden will cause future arguments. To avoid this, good communication ought to be a must in your relationship.
Stop waiting and begin acting!
Waiting and hoping is probably one of the biggest mistakes ever, even though is so easy to be fixed. Lots of people just wait and hope things will eventually work out while resentment grows deeper. Marital problems fail to work out themselves, but require concrete action from your part.
If you really want to keep your marriage you should take into account every one of these details and respect as much as possible. In this way, your chances will increase and possibly avoid separation. Each couple must face problems, but if you know how to solve them, you will definitely strengthen your marriage. Using trust, commitment, honesty and thank you can accomplish that.